Friday, December 26, 2008

KISS ARMY II

(i dont know why, but i feel a strong urge to document this occasion in my life)


so, about this promoter...

apparently KISS ARMY (which i will continue to put in all caps because, hey, its just looks nice, doesnt it?) has a $3500-$4000 guarantee!! which, if you are capable of bringing a thousand fans to a gig, doesnt really seem all that stiff if you think about it. and considering all the crap they put into their shows (yes, there was fire breathing that i dont have a picture of) it seems almost worth it. almost...

well, only about 30-40 people showed up. i think probably because the venue was moved and they jumped into the city last minute with no radio promotion... i dont know so i will digress.

we figured we were going to play for a thousand KISS fans.

Steve overheard the bartender talking business with the promoter, who had apparently never worked with KISS ARMY's management before. The bartender told Mr. Promoter that the bar and the door was not going to make enough to cover the expenses- aka the promoter was going to have to eat the performance cost (which, might have to cover the opening bands, aka us).


well, to make a long story less long, the promoter ducked. no one got paid. not even KISS ARMY who still put on a fucking killer show- still blew fire (the whole club smelled like lighter fluid)- still stuck around for photo ops.


it was rad. but it made me think about the business again. which i always do.

dear captain success- if i ever meet you, and we dance our way to fame and money and fortune, i will devote a good amount of time to crushing people like this promoter. fuck him and the proverbial horse he rode into nashville.
get your shit together. you know?

anyways, i dont want to end this on a sour note. it was a blast. especially since we had never played nashville. every bit of everything was totally worth it... like it always ends up being.

and yes, they played cold gin. it was badass.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

KISS ARMY

ok, i will try to make this quick... or maybe not, fuck it all.

we opened for "kiss army" on saturday (you heard me), KISS ARMY!
This was almost as cool as when we opened for a R&B soul band in new york... THAT band had 13 members... on a stage built for maybe 3 people. ha.
Thats right- the number 1 kiss tribute band in america... for those that dont know/roll...this is a picture parker got of them on his cell phone:


dont they look EXACTLY like kiss? i have a million more pictures of us just dicking around with them after the show... really stand up dudes... considering what all went down that night... i admired them a little more than i did before we played. but then again, i respected GODSMACK after i accidentally saw them live. so whatever... hey, its all hard work.


anyway, back to nashville...
a band called "kill the city" played before us. they were alright. they have one song that i particularly like called "whatever you want". other than that, i was not mega impressed.
so we shared drums...

like all big cities, promoters have no desire for you to express yourself, be it with stage space, YOUR banners, or even with YOUR choice of equipment... hey man "fuck you we dont have time, pay me". its always like that.

that's ok, if you are good, you can make it work. so we did. we used kill the city's drum kit. and it was a decent kit...




we played and actually got a relatively good response from people. considering they were all sitting down in the back area, but i dont give a fuck, they rousingly applaused a few times and bought some shit-
its not like i wanted them to be slam dancing. besides, they all sat down for kiss too...
whoops i gave some story away... you'll live.

so of course, since we were hanging out with Jem, half of us (meaning speer and steve), were doing free jager shots while we were playing... because i never do, and neither does nick... jager is gay. i have had my fill over the years. so fuck it. i stick with gin. i might name my firstborn Gin...

needless to say, SPEER WAS WASTED...


hahaha. he had a blast. apparently, KISS was his first concert experience as a child. so he was in heaven for about 45 minutes
i lost my voice from laughing and singing kiss songs (what? i had no idea that would ever happen much less this past weekend). wtf?
lets shift gears...
so fuck this- another thing i hate about the music business:
the guy who promoted the show, almost booted us off the bill, BECAUSE of kiss... which is fine. we would have understood... this is the south... they have a draw, we didnt... but jem, who is great, kept the bands on the bill as openers(which is also fine).
(this is going to have to be continued after the holidays, i am out of time... i will make a part II)
to be continued...


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

boast.

ok-
the CD release was fucking killer. i didnt lose my voice because i just straight up didnt really sing back up that much- JUST BECAUSE EVERYONE IN CAHOOTS was singing over me.
one of the best nights of my recent memory. serious.
leo gave us a luke warm review. its so riddled with talentless banter that its almost impossible to understand. kind of like that sentence i just wrote there.
i just thought it was great that we could read a less than perfect review of our band, get up from our seats and play to a sizeable number of people (200).
a review is nothing more than one guys opinion and it really doesnt matter. i wont say i wont take some of the advice though. hey, its advice you know?
oh yeah. i just hope that he ends up driving down bardstown, and sees the huge billboard with our album on it (amongst others... including radiohead and MMJ... you heard me...) and decides to review that.
i'd like to read that, and forget about it too.
have fun in your mom's basement reviewer queer.
-d

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

wow

i know you have seen some weird shit in NYC but if i saw this when i was there, it would have taken the cake fo sho.

check out THIS mess. hahaha.

http://hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/

peace.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

OH YEAH, lexington.

"I am going to lexington tommorow... I will make a post and let you know how that goes"
ok here.
it was what seemed like would be a pretty rad show. we showed up- got free pizza and beer, and a guaranteed dollar amount regardless of the turnout. we had done well here last time...
we were in lexington and the cats had just won. so we figured all the dudebros would be at least a little willing to see some rock music and have a good time... shit in one hand and wish in the other. there were no dudebros. i have never wanted to see dudebros more than i did on wednesday night.

there were only two bands. we assumed we would just feed off some of the residual people left over from the first band who played waayyyy too late (like an hour past doors time, but at least they were decent and played for a short time).

they finished. all their friends left.

this is the only thing i hate about music. people just dont care about it enough anymore. they just dont care. thats ok though. i am assuming that things change. i always do. because they always do. they always have. so lets move on.

i had to be up at 630 the next morning. i got home at 330.

it was weak. the whole affair was weak as fuck.

but YOU... whoever you are who may read this... if you ever wondered what it was like to be in an up and coming rock band, vying for status, dying to live out your little dream... thats kind of what its like. you wait for the dudebros, and the dudebros never show. and sometimes thats ok, sometimes thats not. haha.

its kind of like a sickness with no cure... and no scientists to work on it. no grants. no funding. it doesnt have a billion calories, or kill people who dont know how to wash their hands. it doesnt walk into buildings and blow itself and others up in the name of god. no, no. music and this business doesnt do that shit.

it just preys on the dumbasses who choose to give it to themselves... so they blog about it.

yeah.

sometimes you just have to write it down as an experience. nothing more. nothing less. laugh about it. see if other people do... whoever you are, i sure hope YOU did.

oh yeah.
and some dudebro with a microphone tatooed on his neck tried to heckle us. i dont think he succeeded... no one laughed, and i think he got thrown out.
good luck getting a job with that haggard microphone when heckling stops paying the bills.

i heard a comedian this weekend say the funniest thing to a heckler this weekend...

"sir, your dick is so small, your sperm comes out in single file." -jamie martling

everytime micropphone broneck said something, i just played a note or two really loud over him. so i didnt hear what he was saying.
i am not saying i wish it would happen, but maybe there was a car wreck. maybe he was there. dont know if he was in it... i am merely suggesting maybe there was. maybe he was hurt, maybe not. hope he's ok.

yeah.

(sidebar)
i hope you (whoever you are) are not looking for any philosophy or direction in this blog. that could be presumptious of me to assume,considering i hope NO ONE looks for that sort of thing in a blog.
i might feel like peppering in something that may seem like something valuable every now and then, but its just going to be filled with ridiculous antics, dick jokes, drunken escapades, completley terrible form, poor puncuation.... and of course gay jokes. haha. have fun then...

good day.

skin

judging by the distance between this blog and the last, i would say my chances are slim of getting a blog in every day of the work week.
oh well, i dont owe it to myself to do this anyways. i should just have fun.
and i did. this weekend has been a blast. i discovered that i am at the highest point in my life that i have ever seen. my trademark negative attitude slowly melting away with age. its not a bad thing getting older. i am closer to the people i love, including my family, whom i was never close to.
i respect the simpler things. the things i need. i ignore the things i want more often than i used to (except food). i care less about things in life that i know can be replaced with a little hard work. i make things happen. i am building my life one brick at a time, and i think i finally stopped to look at all the shit ive done. i have done pretty fucking well for my self.
about some of the dates we did this weekend- i have seen people drunk. but this weekend, i saw some of the drunkest people i have ever seen. that is no exaggeration.
i have to fly now, but i think i will make the next blog about some stories from theses places. god bless the southern us states.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

numero uno

i am going to make an effort to do this every day of the week in the last 10-15 minutes of my job. i think it would be interesting to see what kind of shit i can spit out when i get done getting raped for 8 hours in a row (excluding my 30 minutes of lunch) for an unfair wage.
going to lexington tommorow- i guess i will write about that when i am at work. i will certainly still be hungover by the time the clock says about 3:10. so much to do in my short time on earth.
no time to smell the roses. no time to plant any either. well, it depends on how you look at that one.
goodbye.