i plan on posting about this soon, so stay tuned.
its honestly pretty fucked up what all went down, but i dont have any pictures and i want to make a really good blog with pictures.
but first (just to hint at what my situation looks like currently), i have to have power so i can upload the pix.
yeah.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
an email thread from "work" today...
here's another from my act.
i am not going to stop drinking.
i am pretty sure i went 21 years without doing it, and i am not going back there again.
i am just not that person anymore.
i am pretty sure i went 21 years without doing it, and i am not going back there again.
i am just not that person anymore.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
bitches and assholes.
My parents were crazy man… I mean, really so am I, it kind of messed me up and I will tell you why.
Did your parents have stuff that they said to you, that you thought was probably the funniest thing in the world, but later you grew up to find out that it might have messed you up?
No? Well my dad did. He had some weird way of summing things up that I just, well I don’t know what I did with them, but they were great.
It was weird- because my dad used to have all these, like, almost catch phrases…like:
“I’m so hungry, my asshole's eating my underwear”… and “that boy would eat the asshole out of a skunk if you cooked it right”…meaning of course that I had a pretty “universal” appetite, you know…
“Cooked it right?” O…k… You could just call me a fatty if you wanted, but we can play the skunks game. That’s cool, dad.
Maybe you and mom should quit giving me pizza rolls and coke. I think it does really odd things to you.
I’m claustrophobic. Don’t know why… I’m not saying it was the pizza rolls, but, hey, I’m not saying its NOT either.
I come from a long line of short people but I bet pizza rolls stunted my growth. All I am saying is, hey, prove its not true.
my favorite one was:
“That guy thinks his shit don’t stink”
When I was a kid, I thought this was hysterical. But now that I am older, I think “what kind of guy really believes that his shit doesn’t stink?... my dad must have hated this guy”.
And it was usually like the baseball coach whose team always annihilated us in little league.
You know the guy: his kid was always pitcher or first base. Like, if he could clone his kid, he’d have him in every position. Batting like 40 times a game. “Gary throw it to Gary…good hustle Gary”. Everyone except Danny gets a drink coupon after game. Good job, Gary. Go to h e l l, Danny. Gary gets the game ball.
His name wasn’t Gary. Don’t get mad “hey my kid’s name Gary” don’t do that……I’m not talking about your kid.
...
His name was Adam…and he smelled like roses. I hated him. That guy thinks his “shit don’t stink”. That’s the guy.
Dad is a genius.
It messed me up though because now, whenever I feel like I need to prove that I am better than people, whenever I get down about myself, I just go into a public restroom and pee sitting down.
That’s right…I do.
That way, whenever someone comes into the bathroom and sees my feet under the stall they think (or at least, I HOPE they do) “wow, that guy must be awesome…his shit doesn’t stink at all… in fact, it smells good in here… damn, I bet he’s good at baseball.”
Did your parents have stuff that they said to you, that you thought was probably the funniest thing in the world, but later you grew up to find out that it might have messed you up?
No? Well my dad did. He had some weird way of summing things up that I just, well I don’t know what I did with them, but they were great.
It was weird- because my dad used to have all these, like, almost catch phrases…like:
“I’m so hungry, my asshole's eating my underwear”… and “that boy would eat the asshole out of a skunk if you cooked it right”…meaning of course that I had a pretty “universal” appetite, you know…
“Cooked it right?” O…k… You could just call me a fatty if you wanted, but we can play the skunks game. That’s cool, dad.
Maybe you and mom should quit giving me pizza rolls and coke. I think it does really odd things to you.
I’m claustrophobic. Don’t know why… I’m not saying it was the pizza rolls, but, hey, I’m not saying its NOT either.
I come from a long line of short people but I bet pizza rolls stunted my growth. All I am saying is, hey, prove its not true.
my favorite one was:
“That guy thinks his shit don’t stink”
When I was a kid, I thought this was hysterical. But now that I am older, I think “what kind of guy really believes that his shit doesn’t stink?... my dad must have hated this guy”.
And it was usually like the baseball coach whose team always annihilated us in little league.
You know the guy: his kid was always pitcher or first base. Like, if he could clone his kid, he’d have him in every position. Batting like 40 times a game. “Gary throw it to Gary…good hustle Gary”. Everyone except Danny gets a drink coupon after game. Good job, Gary. Go to h e l l, Danny. Gary gets the game ball.
His name wasn’t Gary. Don’t get mad “hey my kid’s name Gary” don’t do that……I’m not talking about your kid.
...
His name was Adam…and he smelled like roses. I hated him. That guy thinks his “shit don’t stink”. That’s the guy.
Dad is a genius.
It messed me up though because now, whenever I feel like I need to prove that I am better than people, whenever I get down about myself, I just go into a public restroom and pee sitting down.
That’s right…I do.
That way, whenever someone comes into the bathroom and sees my feet under the stall they think (or at least, I HOPE they do) “wow, that guy must be awesome…his shit doesn’t stink at all… in fact, it smells good in here… damn, I bet he’s good at baseball.”
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