Saturday, April 25, 2009

excuse the punctuation...

...but i just need to vent a little.
for the most part, i am enjoying tour...really.
the worst part isnt what people think it is. its not playing empty clubs with terrible bands and people. really, i have been doing that for years. just not consecutively the way i am now. really, i am over that. dont get me wrong- there are a million more amazing people out there that i have met and shared the stage with... music takes my blues away no matter how many people are there. and anyways, were still doing pretty well. there have only been like 4 "bad" shows. no big deal.
the worst part about touring: i miss home. i miss my lover. distance makes the heart grow fonder, and it also puts a strain on your body and mind. i hate that i cant see her, but i love that she is supporting me and i love to see how independent we can both be of one another, but emotionally, i SUCKKK at being independent. it really sucks not having someone around to share your life and experiences with. i sometimes feel for those people that have not found true love in their life. if there was a god who listened, i would pray that everyone would find it. i am lucky to have it, and i hate that its not near me all the time, aside from a longing to see you again phone call. its a shame, but its for the better.
it feels good to get my emotions out like this. complaining and being negative DONT work when you are on the road. so you have to bottle things up until you can vent just a little bit. i need some fresh air combined with a cigarette.
dont we all wish we could have our cake and eat it too??
i know i do.

1 comment:

the original black bear said...

For some, I believe people have a longer journey to find what they're looking for so that they'll appreciate it more in the end. And for some, it's just not their time yet. But you are lucky to have what you want, and for that, I envy thee.