...but i just need to vent a little.
for the most part, i am enjoying tour...really.
the worst part isnt what people think it is. its not playing empty clubs with terrible bands and people. really, i have been doing that for years. just not consecutively the way i am now. really, i am over that. dont get me wrong- there are a million more amazing people out there that i have met and shared the stage with... music takes my blues away no matter how many people are there. and anyways, were still doing pretty well. there have only been like 4 "bad" shows. no big deal.
the worst part about touring: i miss home. i miss my lover. distance makes the heart grow fonder, and it also puts a strain on your body and mind. i hate that i cant see her, but i love that she is supporting me and i love to see how independent we can both be of one another, but emotionally, i SUCKKK at being independent. it really sucks not having someone around to share your life and experiences with. i sometimes feel for those people that have not found true love in their life. if there was a god who listened, i would pray that everyone would find it. i am lucky to have it, and i hate that its not near me all the time, aside from a longing to see you again phone call. its a shame, but its for the better.
it feels good to get my emotions out like this. complaining and being negative DONT work when you are on the road. so you have to bottle things up until you can vent just a little bit. i need some fresh air combined with a cigarette.
dont we all wish we could have our cake and eat it too??
i know i do.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
slow comp, fast times.
captain hook is on the tv, speer and steve are playing chess. i feel a bit of a chest cold coming on, but i think i will be fine. i just need to lay off the smokes. i look forward to the next few days, new towns, new faces, new places. everything new. nothing wrong with that.
slept in the van last night. wasnt that bad. apparently i slept for nine hours. i wasnt feeling too well. we slept in a walmart parking lot (thanks for the tip vertigo, they indeed dont give a fuck), which wasnt bad. nick and i played wii in the electronics department for about 30 minutes, and then nick played guitar hero. no one said anything to us, they shouldve i guess. we were a little too comfortable to be in a major retailer in our pajamas. oh well though, it was fun, a lot less terrible than i imagined it would be.
i dont know- i'm not exactly getting my "travel wishes" granted, but i am staying alive. and my spirits are up for the most part. i think its ok not always have high standards for everything and just go with the flow.
here's to moving forward.
slept in the van last night. wasnt that bad. apparently i slept for nine hours. i wasnt feeling too well. we slept in a walmart parking lot (thanks for the tip vertigo, they indeed dont give a fuck), which wasnt bad. nick and i played wii in the electronics department for about 30 minutes, and then nick played guitar hero. no one said anything to us, they shouldve i guess. we were a little too comfortable to be in a major retailer in our pajamas. oh well though, it was fun, a lot less terrible than i imagined it would be.
i dont know- i'm not exactly getting my "travel wishes" granted, but i am staying alive. and my spirits are up for the most part. i think its ok not always have high standards for everything and just go with the flow.
here's to moving forward.
Friday, April 10, 2009
so here i am...
i am in knoxville. i have been here for 2 days now, i can safely say- its weird. but despite missing my girlfriend and my dog, i am having a good time between spurts of lonliness and unfullfilled hopes. its just really not that bad. i havent been this calm and collected and ambitious EVER in my life.
i am trying to make this quick because i am going to do a net meet with britni. i get to see her, and i like that. i like everything. why wouldnt i? who the fuck wouldnt want to have the kind of balls i have? i used to want to have them, and now i do. i did it no matter what. so fuck all the doubt that i had, and fuck all the doubt that i still have. its fucking stupid and i already dont know who the fuck that guy was.
you will have to forgive me, i have had a few shclitz cans and i just feel ok.
we go on here soon so i am going to sign off, but whenever i get back to a comp, i will update about things in more detail. i promise.
just being to one city, i can tell you this... there are beautiful people everywhere in this world. and i mean beautiful in the context of motive, and love for doing good in this world. i like to think sometimes that that is what we try to do. and no matter what kind of shit bar i play in, in whatever shit town i go to, i always find them.
good night, i will see you soon.
-nomad.
i am trying to make this quick because i am going to do a net meet with britni. i get to see her, and i like that. i like everything. why wouldnt i? who the fuck wouldnt want to have the kind of balls i have? i used to want to have them, and now i do. i did it no matter what. so fuck all the doubt that i had, and fuck all the doubt that i still have. its fucking stupid and i already dont know who the fuck that guy was.
you will have to forgive me, i have had a few shclitz cans and i just feel ok.
we go on here soon so i am going to sign off, but whenever i get back to a comp, i will update about things in more detail. i promise.
just being to one city, i can tell you this... there are beautiful people everywhere in this world. and i mean beautiful in the context of motive, and love for doing good in this world. i like to think sometimes that that is what we try to do. and no matter what kind of shit bar i play in, in whatever shit town i go to, i always find them.
good night, i will see you soon.
-nomad.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
YOU KNOW YOU'VE MADE IT
When there is a midget version of your band... ahem, excuse me- little people version... of... your... band... yeah.
Anyhow,
today we got bumped off of a show somewhere on the tour because Great White is playing that night.
yeah, i know.
i like how we suck so bad that the club owner would rather risk killing people in a pyro fire/stampede than book us. oh well.
i wonder if Great White could bump Mini Kiss...those little dudes blowing fire, i bet they've injured quite a few people... or singed some eyebrows at least.
ok, i might have to make this a private blog, i'm offending people.
:)
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
bathroom graffiti... pasted over from LJ
i was in the bathroom at thorntons, and someone took out the "c" in "changing" on the "baby changing station"... to make it read "baby hanging station".
then i glanced at myself in the mirror while washing my hands, and there was a sign that read "all employees, wash your hands..." blah blah. the picture was of a womans hands (manicured, red nails, you know the drill)... someone took a pen and wrote "your employees must be fags". HAHAHHA. men's restroom graffiti is fucking HILARIOUS.
then i glanced at myself in the mirror while washing my hands, and there was a sign that read "all employees, wash your hands..." blah blah. the picture was of a womans hands (manicured, red nails, you know the drill)... someone took a pen and wrote "your employees must be fags". HAHAHHA. men's restroom graffiti is fucking HILARIOUS.
Friday, March 27, 2009
whoa.
I have neglected the shit out of this blog.
mainly because i rediscovered gin, and lonliness.
i didnt think i would enjoy either of these things as much.
hey ryan- i heard rocky was jumping on the blogspot train... now TWO people can read my blog!!! YAY.
mainly because i rediscovered gin, and lonliness.
i didnt think i would enjoy either of these things as much.
hey ryan- i heard rocky was jumping on the blogspot train... now TWO people can read my blog!!! YAY.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
25 random things
the following are 25 random things about me.
an idea i got from facebook and could resist pasting over.
1. i felt that dropping out of college and deciding to pursue my grandeuristic (word?) dreams was the most liberating experience of my life. i only mention this because i feel like i need to justify it to myself alot- i have still accomplished little in the financial realm. however, personally, i am having what i believe are the best years of my young adult life. VISA guy, take the mic: "priceless"thanks visa guy.
2. i cried on my 18th birthday because i thought the party was over. it obviously wanst. i get pseudo-depressed whenever i reach a long standing goal in my mind. something about the pursuit fulfills me more than the actual realization of a goal. strange i suppose.
3. i needed glasses for a year and i put off getting them, despite the danger it caused to myself and people around me. can you imagine being so obsessed with the way you are, and have been, that the idea of changing it pales in comparison to letting said idea go? i can. and when i got them, it felt like i lifted a billion pounds. i go to the dentist in two weeks.
4. i have a bad habit of pointing out and fearing these made up archetypes of people that i believe i will become. be they the failed musician, the dead end crappy job grouch, the sound guy, etc. i sometimes find myself doing things that make me think "wow here i am falling right into the same patterns as so and so" and i am stifled by these fears. they are irrational, i know, because everyone is different in the same ways that i think everyone is comparable and the same... sometimes i think about them for days and nights and even have nightmares about them. i think they push me to dance to a different beat, because they go away. and i have either ignored them, or they have been absent from my mind as of late. it comes and goes with the fear of failure obviously.
5. i picked up smoking again. oh well.
6. i love sex, but i am not as oversexed as i believe 99% of american people are. i could be wrong as i just made up that statistic.
7. i have a secret dream of being a standup comedian. i write little jokes and send them to some of my friends to see if they work. they dont. see?
8. on the topic of #7, i listen to the bob and tom show everyday. i am alone in this, i know.
9. i am a news junkie. politics, tragedy, good news, bad news. infomania.
10. addendum to #9- i check my email every few minutes while at work no matter how busy i am.
11. i enjoy up to, or more than, 8 alcoholic beverages everyday. that's an alcoholic by medical standards- only beer though. cant wait for my liver to thank me for this one.
12. i never/rarely say "i love you" to anyone in my family. they dont say it either. i probably say it to my girlfriend and friends more.i love you guys.
13. being a youngest child- i use humor as a sheild. it never works. see?
14. i want a daughter.
15. i am and always have been afraid of commitment. but so are you.
16. i believe the number 1023 is unlucky, but i believe the number 27 is lucky. i have many other superstitions that are so ridiculous, i am ashamed of them.
17. lately, i have been overchecking things in my house (ie the stove, door locks, plugs). its borderline maladaptive behavior because sometimes i stress out about it when i am not at home.
18. i have two cats that i hate (hey, even some of the best albums have filler songs... i know this one isnt worth the dick).
19. my band opened for kiss army. this was easily one of the most random days of my life.
20. when i reach my mid to late 30s if i have the time/money i am going to open a BBQ restaurant called "Danny Ray's Ribs".i make good BBQ. if you need a job in 10-15 years, call me. i'll need smokers.this is not a joke.
21. if i get laid off and end up living on unemployment for a few months, i am going to apprentice at a studio. i cant imagine what kind of things i am going to learn.
22. i make excuses, on occasion, but on all occasions i HATE people who do. i also HATE this about myself (mostly i hate anything about someone else that i see in myself, but i have read that this is typical).
23. i believe in extraterrestrial life and the spirit realm. yes, i believe there are aliens and ghosts. eat me raw. this shouldnt be hard to believe considering i am superstitious.
24. i save all my restaurant reciepts for 2 days in my wallet in case i have food poisoning and need to prove what i ate. or sue (i hope someone else learns this and makes a million dollars... make checks payable to danny).
25. i believe in God, and the EXISTENCE of Christ. i dont believe they were related. and if they are, they must own the cowboys, because i just dont like that religion for some reason.see?
anyone still out there?
an idea i got from facebook and could resist pasting over.
1. i felt that dropping out of college and deciding to pursue my grandeuristic (word?) dreams was the most liberating experience of my life. i only mention this because i feel like i need to justify it to myself alot- i have still accomplished little in the financial realm. however, personally, i am having what i believe are the best years of my young adult life. VISA guy, take the mic: "priceless"thanks visa guy.
2. i cried on my 18th birthday because i thought the party was over. it obviously wanst. i get pseudo-depressed whenever i reach a long standing goal in my mind. something about the pursuit fulfills me more than the actual realization of a goal. strange i suppose.
3. i needed glasses for a year and i put off getting them, despite the danger it caused to myself and people around me. can you imagine being so obsessed with the way you are, and have been, that the idea of changing it pales in comparison to letting said idea go? i can. and when i got them, it felt like i lifted a billion pounds. i go to the dentist in two weeks.
4. i have a bad habit of pointing out and fearing these made up archetypes of people that i believe i will become. be they the failed musician, the dead end crappy job grouch, the sound guy, etc. i sometimes find myself doing things that make me think "wow here i am falling right into the same patterns as so and so" and i am stifled by these fears. they are irrational, i know, because everyone is different in the same ways that i think everyone is comparable and the same... sometimes i think about them for days and nights and even have nightmares about them. i think they push me to dance to a different beat, because they go away. and i have either ignored them, or they have been absent from my mind as of late. it comes and goes with the fear of failure obviously.
5. i picked up smoking again. oh well.
6. i love sex, but i am not as oversexed as i believe 99% of american people are. i could be wrong as i just made up that statistic.
7. i have a secret dream of being a standup comedian. i write little jokes and send them to some of my friends to see if they work. they dont. see?
8. on the topic of #7, i listen to the bob and tom show everyday. i am alone in this, i know.
9. i am a news junkie. politics, tragedy, good news, bad news. infomania.
10. addendum to #9- i check my email every few minutes while at work no matter how busy i am.
11. i enjoy up to, or more than, 8 alcoholic beverages everyday. that's an alcoholic by medical standards- only beer though. cant wait for my liver to thank me for this one.
12. i never/rarely say "i love you" to anyone in my family. they dont say it either. i probably say it to my girlfriend and friends more.i love you guys.
13. being a youngest child- i use humor as a sheild. it never works. see?
14. i want a daughter.
15. i am and always have been afraid of commitment. but so are you.
16. i believe the number 1023 is unlucky, but i believe the number 27 is lucky. i have many other superstitions that are so ridiculous, i am ashamed of them.
17. lately, i have been overchecking things in my house (ie the stove, door locks, plugs). its borderline maladaptive behavior because sometimes i stress out about it when i am not at home.
18. i have two cats that i hate (hey, even some of the best albums have filler songs... i know this one isnt worth the dick).
19. my band opened for kiss army. this was easily one of the most random days of my life.
20. when i reach my mid to late 30s if i have the time/money i am going to open a BBQ restaurant called "Danny Ray's Ribs".i make good BBQ. if you need a job in 10-15 years, call me. i'll need smokers.this is not a joke.
21. if i get laid off and end up living on unemployment for a few months, i am going to apprentice at a studio. i cant imagine what kind of things i am going to learn.
22. i make excuses, on occasion, but on all occasions i HATE people who do. i also HATE this about myself (mostly i hate anything about someone else that i see in myself, but i have read that this is typical).
23. i believe in extraterrestrial life and the spirit realm. yes, i believe there are aliens and ghosts. eat me raw. this shouldnt be hard to believe considering i am superstitious.
24. i save all my restaurant reciepts for 2 days in my wallet in case i have food poisoning and need to prove what i ate. or sue (i hope someone else learns this and makes a million dollars... make checks payable to danny).
25. i believe in God, and the EXISTENCE of Christ. i dont believe they were related. and if they are, they must own the cowboys, because i just dont like that religion for some reason.see?
anyone still out there?
Thursday, February 5, 2009
i am sure...
that if i dig around on the internet long enough, i could find an atheist girl named Faith.
i am sure she wouldnt marry me though.
you gotta do that kind of thing in church.
talk about issues. haha. what conversations we would have!
"tell me again how you hate your dad AND yourself AND god..."
allow me to laugh at my own joke: haha.
buzzkill: (fact) most successful marriages: atheist couples. go fig.
i am sure she wouldnt marry me though.
you gotta do that kind of thing in church.
talk about issues. haha. what conversations we would have!
"tell me again how you hate your dad AND yourself AND god..."
allow me to laugh at my own joke: haha.
buzzkill: (fact) most successful marriages: atheist couples. go fig.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
the skeleton
could you rescue me? ive had enough.would you undo ropes? i demand to stand. rocks and land.
shaking like a skeleton. poisonous- bad for both of us.what exaclty am i running from? silouettes armed with guns. no, i dont think there is a pill to take. grip you tight. no escape. we flood the chambers inside the boat. we swim until our muscles fold. so sink it. so sink. so slow. so what.
why not stop me? operate from the side of your eye. anyways better days keep nipping my heels. i cant live with the guilt.
years and years. signaled you with flares. more color- this landscape is white. minutes turn to day and night.
minutes turn to day and night
shaking like a skeleton. poisonous- bad for both of us.what exaclty am i running from? silouettes armed with guns. no, i dont think there is a pill to take. grip you tight. no escape. we flood the chambers inside the boat. we swim until our muscles fold. so sink it. so sink. so slow. so what.
why not stop me? operate from the side of your eye. anyways better days keep nipping my heels. i cant live with the guilt.
years and years. signaled you with flares. more color- this landscape is white. minutes turn to day and night.
minutes turn to day and night
Thursday, January 29, 2009
winter storm.
i plan on posting about this soon, so stay tuned.
its honestly pretty fucked up what all went down, but i dont have any pictures and i want to make a really good blog with pictures.
but first (just to hint at what my situation looks like currently), i have to have power so i can upload the pix.
yeah.
its honestly pretty fucked up what all went down, but i dont have any pictures and i want to make a really good blog with pictures.
but first (just to hint at what my situation looks like currently), i have to have power so i can upload the pix.
yeah.
Monday, January 26, 2009
an email thread from "work" today...
here's another from my act.
i am not going to stop drinking.
i am pretty sure i went 21 years without doing it, and i am not going back there again.
i am just not that person anymore.
i am pretty sure i went 21 years without doing it, and i am not going back there again.
i am just not that person anymore.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
bitches and assholes.
My parents were crazy man… I mean, really so am I, it kind of messed me up and I will tell you why.
Did your parents have stuff that they said to you, that you thought was probably the funniest thing in the world, but later you grew up to find out that it might have messed you up?
No? Well my dad did. He had some weird way of summing things up that I just, well I don’t know what I did with them, but they were great.
It was weird- because my dad used to have all these, like, almost catch phrases…like:
“I’m so hungry, my asshole's eating my underwear”… and “that boy would eat the asshole out of a skunk if you cooked it right”…meaning of course that I had a pretty “universal” appetite, you know…
“Cooked it right?” O…k… You could just call me a fatty if you wanted, but we can play the skunks game. That’s cool, dad.
Maybe you and mom should quit giving me pizza rolls and coke. I think it does really odd things to you.
I’m claustrophobic. Don’t know why… I’m not saying it was the pizza rolls, but, hey, I’m not saying its NOT either.
I come from a long line of short people but I bet pizza rolls stunted my growth. All I am saying is, hey, prove its not true.
my favorite one was:
“That guy thinks his shit don’t stink”
When I was a kid, I thought this was hysterical. But now that I am older, I think “what kind of guy really believes that his shit doesn’t stink?... my dad must have hated this guy”.
And it was usually like the baseball coach whose team always annihilated us in little league.
You know the guy: his kid was always pitcher or first base. Like, if he could clone his kid, he’d have him in every position. Batting like 40 times a game. “Gary throw it to Gary…good hustle Gary”. Everyone except Danny gets a drink coupon after game. Good job, Gary. Go to h e l l, Danny. Gary gets the game ball.
His name wasn’t Gary. Don’t get mad “hey my kid’s name Gary” don’t do that……I’m not talking about your kid.
...
His name was Adam…and he smelled like roses. I hated him. That guy thinks his “shit don’t stink”. That’s the guy.
Dad is a genius.
It messed me up though because now, whenever I feel like I need to prove that I am better than people, whenever I get down about myself, I just go into a public restroom and pee sitting down.
That’s right…I do.
That way, whenever someone comes into the bathroom and sees my feet under the stall they think (or at least, I HOPE they do) “wow, that guy must be awesome…his shit doesn’t stink at all… in fact, it smells good in here… damn, I bet he’s good at baseball.”
Did your parents have stuff that they said to you, that you thought was probably the funniest thing in the world, but later you grew up to find out that it might have messed you up?
No? Well my dad did. He had some weird way of summing things up that I just, well I don’t know what I did with them, but they were great.
It was weird- because my dad used to have all these, like, almost catch phrases…like:
“I’m so hungry, my asshole's eating my underwear”… and “that boy would eat the asshole out of a skunk if you cooked it right”…meaning of course that I had a pretty “universal” appetite, you know…
“Cooked it right?” O…k… You could just call me a fatty if you wanted, but we can play the skunks game. That’s cool, dad.
Maybe you and mom should quit giving me pizza rolls and coke. I think it does really odd things to you.
I’m claustrophobic. Don’t know why… I’m not saying it was the pizza rolls, but, hey, I’m not saying its NOT either.
I come from a long line of short people but I bet pizza rolls stunted my growth. All I am saying is, hey, prove its not true.
my favorite one was:
“That guy thinks his shit don’t stink”
When I was a kid, I thought this was hysterical. But now that I am older, I think “what kind of guy really believes that his shit doesn’t stink?... my dad must have hated this guy”.
And it was usually like the baseball coach whose team always annihilated us in little league.
You know the guy: his kid was always pitcher or first base. Like, if he could clone his kid, he’d have him in every position. Batting like 40 times a game. “Gary throw it to Gary…good hustle Gary”. Everyone except Danny gets a drink coupon after game. Good job, Gary. Go to h e l l, Danny. Gary gets the game ball.
His name wasn’t Gary. Don’t get mad “hey my kid’s name Gary” don’t do that……I’m not talking about your kid.
...
His name was Adam…and he smelled like roses. I hated him. That guy thinks his “shit don’t stink”. That’s the guy.
Dad is a genius.
It messed me up though because now, whenever I feel like I need to prove that I am better than people, whenever I get down about myself, I just go into a public restroom and pee sitting down.
That’s right…I do.
That way, whenever someone comes into the bathroom and sees my feet under the stall they think (or at least, I HOPE they do) “wow, that guy must be awesome…his shit doesn’t stink at all… in fact, it smells good in here… damn, I bet he’s good at baseball.”
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