Sweating Bullets

Cliff's Notes

2011-02-19T15:05:00.001-08:00

So here I sit.

I think this is the juncture in a man's life when he makes the decision to either become a workaholic on the 9-5 train, or pursue something stupid. Right there at the crossroad, do you see me?

With all this time I've got, I could have built skyscrapers. Went back to school. Done something REALLY productive. Instead, by choice, I have done nothing. Simple things. I've sustained. I float. Watch me.

Sure, I am paraphrasing the last 2 years of my life. But honestly, that's how its felt. My life is Cliff's Notes...shortcuts from A to B. Not really anything to tell other than shit thats happened around my house or with the people who rarely call me anymore, or pick up the phone when I need them.

So here I sit. With this little tale of loneliness (which, by the way, will literally will only be read by me). I can think of nothing to do but to turn it into beautiful art, something Ive always done, but I've got no one to help me but me. I've got no one who cares to care about this.

I cant let go of the past. I am afraid to embrace the future. Damn. It felt good typing that.... let's pause while I say that out loud..... that felt ridiculous.

Where did everyone go? I do not specifically remember pushing anyone away. In fact, all I can remember doing was trying so hard to hold on to everything. Maybe I crushed it.

It would be nice to get invited somewhere- or spoken to. Ive always had to the tools to bring folks together. When I say tools I mean people... and not in the bad way (boy, that came out wrong).

So I am going to get back into making music, I suppose. I'm going to pursue "Cousins" with a bit more tenacity this time. And find musicians who believe in it. That's what I'm gonna do. Because I need to. I have to create.

PERHAPS

2010-12-23T19:10:00.000-08:00

Maybe I'll start a band and name it after the "captcha" words that blogspot keeps throwing out so they can prove I'm not a robot posting spam in the "Comments" sections.
So far, the candidates for my captcha band are...

Tersh, Mollada, and finally... Lertags.

Your thoughts?

One Red Cent

2010-02-03T06:55:00.000-08:00

Today, I actually plan on making a red cent in this little "music career" of mine. Aside from the $125 I "raked in" at Amherst's farewell show (which was the first time I ever got payed to play music in my entire career), this will be the first time as an individual that I ever made money to do something that I truly enjoy. I'll be recording/"producing", and paying studio rent with the money, but hey, it's something ain't it?

Ain't ain't no word, so you ain't gonna use it.

It's silly I guess to discuss manners of money publicly, but I'm poor, so I guess like most poor people, I can be tasteless.

I'm grateful that I get these slow days sometimes at work- I'm grateful that I get to write. And I'm grateful for a little catch up time here at 29th and Broadway. Life's fair enough.

This winter weather is eating me alive! Let's talk about that. When you're a golfer, this kind of weather is the worst. I hate being physically capable of doing something, and having EVERYTHING else hold me back.

What I'm saying is, I hate Kentucky weather. But what can you do?

I've had this window up for about an hour now and I'm realizing, as I'm periodically adding to this update between bursts of business... I have nothing significant to say.

Good day.

Growing "Out"

2010-01-27T06:13:00.000-08:00

Wow.

So I found this blog today... about a year after I walked away from one of the most life-altering decisions I have ever made. The decision to leave a 30K a year job, get in a van and play clubs and bars every night- and leave the self that I was, for so long denying, behind.

I read my older blog with a sense of cynicism, but I have to give myself a little breathing room. Who wouldn't? I can certainly say, without a doubt, that I am doing my best to forgive myself, to learn, to take risks, and most importantly, to relax.

Let's not go too deep in this direction, but I want to make a quick comment about our country, and this system we live in, because its relevant...

It's very easy to get sucked into your dreams. I say this because we live in a world that promotes it...in the worst way- and I want to be careful to point out that there is nothing wrong with such a thing because, without dreams, what do we have? But I want to give advice (since you asked for it) to those who want to pursue those dreams...BE CAREFUL. You actually DO have to work for them. And I feel like one of those suckers that thought it was just going to fall into my lap, and that everyone was going to do everything for me. And that my talent would make up for my severe lack of work ethic. THAT is the environment that we live in. That is the new American dream. So be careful dream chasers... Your dreams can turn around and bite you as quickly as you can catch them, and they can bite you as hard as you can run to catch them.

But I digress... I need to do my best not to be naive and think this whole thing was a mistake. Because, as all adults will tell you- WE ALL SCREW UP SO THAT WE LEARN WHAT NOT TO DO. And its all true. Mom and Dad were right. So that's what I am (slowly but surely) doing. Learning.

So in the past year, since I walked away from everything that I thought I was, and became something I believe I might be, I have done the following- in the order that they happened, I think.

1. Discovered the game of Golf
2. Wrote, and recorded 11 songs
3. Found a pretty decent job as a Credit Union teller
4. Got engaged to my long time girlfriend on a weekend getaway to Gatlinburg
5. Lost touch with friends
7. Started Blogging again
8. Oh yeah... and I THINK I booked a show...:)

So, in a nutshell, I'm just looking at better ways to build my character other than traveling and playing music. Not that I have ever hated playing music, but it is really all I have ever known. And since we live in such a world, where the pursuit of dreams are rampant, I figure I'll start trying my hand at things... after all, I know what NOT to do, right?

Wrong. I'm just much better equipped for failure.

And, as far as losing touch with friends. This has been both a conscious and unconscious effort, I believe, on my part and on the parts of others. Was music the only thing that bonded those who have fallen gracefully out of my life? Or was it the only thing that bonded me to them? I suppose it helped. I suppose it was something to talk about at one point. I suppose it was a reason to get together, drink, have a laugh, talk music, talk about other people, a way to assert dominance in a cutthroat environment (I'll leave it at that, and keep the rest of my thoughts to myself).

Honestly, I miss everyone and everything. But that's the cost of finding out what YOU as an individual, without anyone else, are made of. I can't believe that I believe that, but I do. It's part of growing up. Maybe we grow "out" instead of "up". Everyone grows vertically at basically the same rate, but we drift apart horizontally, until we're all out of sight from each other, incapable of holding one another up any longer.

So I guess there's nowhere to go but forward, so I'll keep doing that.

And another thing- What did I have against punctuation a year ago? It makes things so much easier to read when you actually capitalize the first letters of your sentences, use commas, and don't abuse the ellipsis... :)

excuse the punctuation...

2009-04-25T07:11:00.000-07:00

...but i just need to vent a little.
for the most part, i am enjoying tour...really.
the worst part isnt what people think it is. its not playing empty clubs with terrible bands and people. really, i have been doing that for years. just not consecutively the way i am now. really, i am over that. dont get me wrong- there are a million more amazing people out there that i have met and shared the stage with... music takes my blues away no matter how many people are there. and anyways, were still doing pretty well. there have only been like 4 "bad" shows. no big deal.
the worst part about touring: i miss home. i miss my lover. distance makes the heart grow fonder, and it also puts a strain on your body and mind. i hate that i cant see her, but i love that she is supporting me and i love to see how independent we can both be of one another, but emotionally, i SUCKKK at being independent. it really sucks not having someone around to share your life and experiences with. i sometimes feel for those people that have not found true love in their life. if there was a god who listened, i would pray that everyone would find it. i am lucky to have it, and i hate that its not near me all the time, aside from a longing to see you again phone call. its a shame, but its for the better.
it feels good to get my emotions out like this. complaining and being negative DONT work when you are on the road. so you have to bottle things up until you can vent just a little bit. i need some fresh air combined with a cigarette.
dont we all wish we could have our cake and eat it too??
i know i do.

slow comp, fast times.

2009-04-13T10:46:00.001-07:00

captain hook is on the tv, speer and steve are playing chess. i feel a bit of a chest cold coming on, but i think i will be fine. i just need to lay off the smokes. i look forward to the next few days, new towns, new faces, new places. everything new. nothing wrong with that.
slept in the van last night. wasnt that bad. apparently i slept for nine hours. i wasnt feeling too well. we slept in a walmart parking lot (thanks for the tip vertigo, they indeed dont give a fuck), which wasnt bad. nick and i played wii in the electronics department for about 30 minutes, and then nick played guitar hero. no one said anything to us, they shouldve i guess. we were a little too comfortable to be in a major retailer in our pajamas. oh well though, it was fun, a lot less terrible than i imagined it would be.
i dont know- i'm not exactly getting my "travel wishes" granted, but i am staying alive. and my spirits are up for the most part. i think its ok not always have high standards for everything and just go with the flow.
here's to moving forward.

so here i am...

2009-04-10T18:52:00.000-07:00

i am in knoxville. i have been here for 2 days now, i can safely say- its weird. but despite missing my girlfriend and my dog, i am having a good time between spurts of lonliness and unfullfilled hopes. its just really not that bad. i havent been this calm and collected and ambitious EVER in my life.
i am trying to make this quick because i am going to do a net meet with britni. i get to see her, and i like that. i like everything. why wouldnt i? who the fuck wouldnt want to have the kind of balls i have? i used to want to have them, and now i do. i did it no matter what. so fuck all the doubt that i had, and fuck all the doubt that i still have. its fucking stupid and i already dont know who the fuck that guy was.
you will have to forgive me, i have had a few shclitz cans and i just feel ok.
we go on here soon so i am going to sign off, but whenever i get back to a comp, i will update about things in more detail. i promise.
just being to one city, i can tell you this... there are beautiful people everywhere in this world. and i mean beautiful in the context of motive, and love for doing good in this world. i like to think sometimes that that is what we try to do. and no matter what kind of shit bar i play in, in whatever shit town i go to, i always find them.
good night, i will see you soon.

-nomad.

I made this

2009-04-03T09:50:00.001-07:00

I made a LOLZ.

http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=3844594

YOU KNOW YOU'VE MADE IT

2009-04-02T12:02:00.000-07:00

When there is a midget version of your band... ahem, excuse me- little people version... of... your... band... yeah.

Anyhow,
today we got bumped off of a show somewhere on the tour because Great White is playing that night.

yeah, i know.

i like how we suck so bad that the club owner would rather risk killing people in a pyro fire/stampede than book us. oh well.

i wonder if Great White could bump Mini Kiss...those little dudes blowing fire, i bet they've injured quite a few people... or singed some eyebrows at least.

ok, i might have to make this a private blog, i'm offending people.
:)

bathroom graffiti... pasted over from LJ

2009-04-01T10:44:00.000-07:00

i was in the bathroom at thorntons, and someone took out the "c" in "changing" on the "baby changing station"... to make it read "baby hanging station".
then i glanced at myself in the mirror while washing my hands, and there was a sign that read "all employees, wash your hands..." blah blah. the picture was of a womans hands (manicured, red nails, you know the drill)... someone took a pen and wrote "your employees must be fags". HAHAHHA. men's restroom graffiti is fucking HILARIOUS.

whoa.

2009-03-27T12:19:00.001-07:00

I have neglected the shit out of this blog.
mainly because i rediscovered gin, and lonliness.
i didnt think i would enjoy either of these things as much.
hey ryan- i heard rocky was jumping on the blogspot train... now TWO people can read my blog!!! YAY.

25 random things

2009-02-11T12:13:00.000-08:00

the following are 25 random things about me.
an idea i got from facebook and could resist pasting over.

1. i felt that dropping out of college and deciding to pursue my grandeuristic (word?) dreams was the most liberating experience of my life. i only mention this because i feel like i need to justify it to myself alot- i have still accomplished little in the financial realm. however, personally, i am having what i believe are the best years of my young adult life. VISA guy, take the mic: "priceless"thanks visa guy.
2. i cried on my 18th birthday because i thought the party was over. it obviously wanst. i get pseudo-depressed whenever i reach a long standing goal in my mind. something about the pursuit fulfills me more than the actual realization of a goal. strange i suppose.
3. i needed glasses for a year and i put off getting them, despite the danger it caused to myself and people around me. can you imagine being so obsessed with the way you are, and have been, that the idea of changing it pales in comparison to letting said idea go? i can. and when i got them, it felt like i lifted a billion pounds. i go to the dentist in two weeks.
4. i have a bad habit of pointing out and fearing these made up archetypes of people that i believe i will become. be they the failed musician, the dead end crappy job grouch, the sound guy, etc. i sometimes find myself doing things that make me think "wow here i am falling right into the same patterns as so and so" and i am stifled by these fears. they are irrational, i know, because everyone is different in the same ways that i think everyone is comparable and the same... sometimes i think about them for days and nights and even have nightmares about them. i think they push me to dance to a different beat, because they go away. and i have either ignored them, or they have been absent from my mind as of late. it comes and goes with the fear of failure obviously.
5. i picked up smoking again. oh well.
6. i love sex, but i am not as oversexed as i believe 99% of american people are. i could be wrong as i just made up that statistic.
7. i have a secret dream of being a standup comedian. i write little jokes and send them to some of my friends to see if they work. they dont. see?
8. on the topic of #7, i listen to the bob and tom show everyday. i am alone in this, i know.
9. i am a news junkie. politics, tragedy, good news, bad news. infomania.
10. addendum to #9- i check my email every few minutes while at work no matter how busy i am.
11. i enjoy up to, or more than, 8 alcoholic beverages everyday. that's an alcoholic by medical standards- only beer though. cant wait for my liver to thank me for this one.
12. i never/rarely say "i love you" to anyone in my family. they dont say it either. i probably say it to my girlfriend and friends more.i love you guys.
13. being a youngest child- i use humor as a sheild. it never works. see?
14. i want a daughter.
15. i am and always have been afraid of commitment. but so are you.
16. i believe the number 1023 is unlucky, but i believe the number 27 is lucky. i have many other superstitions that are so ridiculous, i am ashamed of them.
17. lately, i have been overchecking things in my house (ie the stove, door locks, plugs). its borderline maladaptive behavior because sometimes i stress out about it when i am not at home.
18. i have two cats that i hate (hey, even some of the best albums have filler songs... i know this one isnt worth the dick).
19. my band opened for kiss army. this was easily one of the most random days of my life.
20. when i reach my mid to late 30s if i have the time/money i am going to open a BBQ restaurant called "Danny Ray's Ribs".i make good BBQ. if you need a job in 10-15 years, call me. i'll need smokers.this is not a joke.
21. if i get laid off and end up living on unemployment for a few months, i am going to apprentice at a studio. i cant imagine what kind of things i am going to learn.
22. i make excuses, on occasion, but on all occasions i HATE people who do. i also HATE this about myself (mostly i hate anything about someone else that i see in myself, but i have read that this is typical).
23. i believe in extraterrestrial life and the spirit realm. yes, i believe there are aliens and ghosts. eat me raw. this shouldnt be hard to believe considering i am superstitious.
24. i save all my restaurant reciepts for 2 days in my wallet in case i have food poisoning and need to prove what i ate. or sue (i hope someone else learns this and makes a million dollars... make checks payable to danny).
25. i believe in God, and the EXISTENCE of Christ. i dont believe they were related. and if they are, they must own the cowboys, because i just dont like that religion for some reason.see?

anyone still out there?

i am sure...

2009-02-05T09:43:00.001-08:00

that if i dig around on the internet long enough, i could find an atheist girl named Faith.
i am sure she wouldnt marry me though.
you gotta do that kind of thing in church.
talk about issues. haha. what conversations we would have!

"tell me again how you hate your dad AND yourself AND god..."

allow me to laugh at my own joke: haha.

buzzkill: (fact) most successful marriages: atheist couples. go fig.

the skeleton

2009-02-03T12:20:00.000-08:00

could you rescue me? ive had enough.would you undo ropes? i demand to stand. rocks and land.
shaking like a skeleton. poisonous- bad for both of us.what exaclty am i running from? silouettes armed with guns. no, i dont think there is a pill to take. grip you tight. no escape. we flood the chambers inside the boat. we swim until our muscles fold. so sink it. so sink. so slow. so what.
why not stop me? operate from the side of your eye. anyways better days keep nipping my heels. i cant live with the guilt.
years and years. signaled you with flares. more color- this landscape is white. minutes turn to day and night.
minutes turn to day and night

winter storm.

2009-01-29T12:15:00.000-08:00

i plan on posting about this soon, so stay tuned.
its honestly pretty fucked up what all went down, but i dont have any pictures and i want to make a really good blog with pictures.
but first (just to hint at what my situation looks like currently), i have to have power so i can upload the pix.
yeah.

an email thread from "work" today...

2009-01-26T12:07:00.000-08:00

This was from me to nick and everyone else in amherst:

___o
/
-------------------------@
\___o

"dude, i got you a BROse.
(it's a rose showing its muscles off)"

then nick sends this:

i dont like the new nick...hes just not nice anymore.

here's another from my act.

2009-01-26T08:58:00.000-08:00

i am not going to stop drinking.
i am pretty sure i went 21 years without doing it, and i am not going back there again.
i am just not that person anymore.

bitches and assholes.

2009-01-14T12:24:00.000-08:00

My parents were crazy man… I mean, really so am I, it kind of messed me up and I will tell you why.
Did your parents have stuff that they said to you, that you thought was probably the funniest thing in the world, but later you grew up to find out that it might have messed you up?
No? Well my dad did. He had some weird way of summing things up that I just, well I don’t know what I did with them, but they were great.
It was weird- because my dad used to have all these, like, almost catch phrases…like:
“I’m so hungry, my asshole's eating my underwear”… and “that boy would eat the asshole out of a skunk if you cooked it right”…meaning of course that I had a pretty “universal” appetite, you know…
“Cooked it right?” O…k… You could just call me a fatty if you wanted, but we can play the skunks game. That’s cool, dad.
Maybe you and mom should quit giving me pizza rolls and coke. I think it does really odd things to you.
I’m claustrophobic. Don’t know why… I’m not saying it was the pizza rolls, but, hey, I’m not saying its NOT either.
I come from a long line of short people but I bet pizza rolls stunted my growth. All I am saying is, hey, prove its not true.

my favorite one was:
“That guy thinks his shit don’t stink”
When I was a kid, I thought this was hysterical. But now that I am older, I think “what kind of guy really believes that his shit doesn’t stink?... my dad must have hated this guy”.
And it was usually like the baseball coach whose team always annihilated us in little league.
You know the guy: his kid was always pitcher or first base. Like, if he could clone his kid, he’d have him in every position. Batting like 40 times a game. “Gary throw it to Gary…good hustle Gary”. Everyone except Danny gets a drink coupon after game. Good job, Gary. Go to h e l l, Danny. Gary gets the game ball.
His name wasn’t Gary. Don’t get mad “hey my kid’s name Gary” don’t do that……I’m not talking about your kid.

...

His name was Adam…and he smelled like roses. I hated him. That guy thinks his “shit don’t stink”. That’s the guy.
Dad is a genius.
It messed me up though because now, whenever I feel like I need to prove that I am better than people, whenever I get down about myself, I just go into a public restroom and pee sitting down.
That’s right…I do.
That way, whenever someone comes into the bathroom and sees my feet under the stall they think (or at least, I HOPE they do) “wow, that guy must be awesome…his shit doesn’t stink at all… in fact, it smells good in here… damn, I bet he’s good at baseball.”

KISS ARMY II

2008-12-26T07:13:00.000-08:00

(i dont know why, but i feel a strong urge to document this occasion in my life)

so, about this promoter...

apparently KISS ARMY (which i will continue to put in all caps because, hey, its just looks nice, doesnt it?) has a $3500-$4000 guarantee!! which, if you are capable of bringing a thousand fans to a gig, doesnt really seem all that stiff if you think about it. and considering all the crap they put into their shows (yes, there was fire breathing that i dont have a picture of) it seems almost worth it. almost...

well, only about 30-40 people showed up. i think probably because the venue was moved and they jumped into the city last minute with no radio promotion... i dont know so i will digress.

we figured we were going to play for a thousand KISS fans.

Steve overheard the bartender talking business with the promoter, who had apparently never worked with KISS ARMY's management before. The bartender told Mr. Promoter that the bar and the door was not going to make enough to cover the expenses- aka the promoter was going to have to eat the performance cost (which, might have to cover the opening bands, aka us).

well, to make a long story less long, the promoter ducked. no one got paid. not even KISS ARMY who still put on a fucking killer show- still blew fire (the whole club smelled like lighter fluid)- still stuck around for photo ops.

it was rad. but it made me think about the business again. which i always do.

dear captain success- if i ever meet you, and we dance our way to fame and money and fortune, i will devote a good amount of time to crushing people like this promoter. fuck him and the proverbial horse he rode into nashville.
get your shit together. you know?

anyways, i dont want to end this on a sour note. it was a blast. especially since we had never played nashville. every bit of everything was totally worth it... like it always ends up being.

and yes, they played cold gin. it was badass.

KISS ARMY

2008-12-24T07:09:00.000-08:00

ok, i will try to make this quick... or maybe not, fuck it all.

we opened for "kiss army" on saturday (you heard me), KISS ARMY!

This was almost as cool as when we opened for a R&B soul band in new york... THAT band had 13 members... on a stage built for maybe 3 people. ha.

Thats right- the number 1 kiss tribute band in america... for those that dont know/roll...this is a picture parker got of them on his cell phone:

dont they look EXACTLY like kiss? i have a million more pictures of us just dicking around with them after the show... really stand up dudes... considering what all went down that night... i admired them a little more than i did before we played. but then again, i respected GODSMACK after i accidentally saw them live. so whatever... hey, its all hard work.

anyway, back to nashville...

a band called "kill the city" played before us. they were alright. they have one song that i particularly like called "whatever you want". other than that, i was not mega impressed.

www.myspace.com/killthecity

so we shared drums...

like all big cities, promoters have no desire for you to express yourself, be it with stage space, YOUR banners, or even with YOUR choice of equipment... hey man "fuck you we dont have time, pay me". its always like that.

that's ok, if you are good, you can make it work. so we did. we used kill the city's drum kit. and it was a decent kit...

we played and actually got a relatively good response from people. considering they were all sitting down in the back area, but i dont give a fuck, they rousingly applaused a few times and bought some shit-

its not like i wanted them to be slam dancing. besides, they all sat down for kiss too...

whoops i gave some story away... you'll live.

so of course, since we were hanging out with Jem, half of us (meaning speer and steve), were doing free jager shots while we were playing... because i never do, and neither does nick... jager is gay. i have had my fill over the years. so fuck it. i stick with gin. i might name my firstborn Gin...

needless to say, SPEER WAS WASTED...

hahaha. he had a blast. apparently, KISS was his first concert experience as a child. so he was in heaven for about 45 minutes

i lost my voice from laughing and singing kiss songs (what? i had no idea that would ever happen much less this past weekend). wtf?

lets shift gears...

so fuck this- another thing i hate about the music business:

the guy who promoted the show, almost booted us off the bill, BECAUSE of kiss... which is fine. we would have understood... this is the south... they have a draw, we didnt... but jem, who is great, kept the bands on the bill as openers(which is also fine).

(this is going to have to be continued after the holidays, i am out of time... i will make a part II)

to be continued...

boast.

2008-12-17T11:12:00.000-08:00

ok-
the CD release was fucking killer. i didnt lose my voice because i just straight up didnt really sing back up that much- JUST BECAUSE EVERYONE IN CAHOOTS was singing over me.
one of the best nights of my recent memory. serious.
leo gave us a luke warm review. its so riddled with talentless banter that its almost impossible to understand. kind of like that sentence i just wrote there.
i just thought it was great that we could read a less than perfect review of our band, get up from our seats and play to a sizeable number of people (200).
a review is nothing more than one guys opinion and it really doesnt matter. i wont say i wont take some of the advice though. hey, its advice you know?
oh yeah. i just hope that he ends up driving down bardstown, and sees the huge billboard with our album on it (amongst others... including radiohead and MMJ... you heard me...) and decides to review that.
i'd like to read that, and forget about it too.
have fun in your mom's basement reviewer queer.
-d

wow

2008-12-10T07:10:00.000-08:00

i know you have seen some weird shit in NYC but if i saw this when i was there, it would have taken the cake fo sho.

check out THIS mess. hahaha.

http://hollabacknyc.blogspot.com/

peace.

OH YEAH, lexington.

2008-12-09T12:08:00.001-08:00

"I am going to lexington tommorow... I will make a post and let you know how that goes"
ok here.
it was what seemed like would be a pretty rad show. we showed up- got free pizza and beer, and a guaranteed dollar amount regardless of the turnout. we had done well here last time...
we were in lexington and the cats had just won. so we figured all the dudebros would be at least a little willing to see some rock music and have a good time... shit in one hand and wish in the other. there were no dudebros. i have never wanted to see dudebros more than i did on wednesday night.

there were only two bands. we assumed we would just feed off some of the residual people left over from the first band who played waayyyy too late (like an hour past doors time, but at least they were decent and played for a short time).

they finished. all their friends left.

this is the only thing i hate about music. people just dont care about it enough anymore. they just dont care. thats ok though. i am assuming that things change. i always do. because they always do. they always have. so lets move on.

i had to be up at 630 the next morning. i got home at 330.

it was weak. the whole affair was weak as fuck.

but YOU... whoever you are who may read this... if you ever wondered what it was like to be in an up and coming rock band, vying for status, dying to live out your little dream... thats kind of what its like. you wait for the dudebros, and the dudebros never show. and sometimes thats ok, sometimes thats not. haha.

its kind of like a sickness with no cure... and no scientists to work on it. no grants. no funding. it doesnt have a billion calories, or kill people who dont know how to wash their hands. it doesnt walk into buildings and blow itself and others up in the name of god. no, no. music and this business doesnt do that shit.

it just preys on the dumbasses who choose to give it to themselves... so they blog about it.

yeah.

sometimes you just have to write it down as an experience. nothing more. nothing less. laugh about it. see if other people do... whoever you are, i sure hope YOU did.

oh yeah.
and some dudebro with a microphone tatooed on his neck tried to heckle us. i dont think he succeeded... no one laughed, and i think he got thrown out.
good luck getting a job with that haggard microphone when heckling stops paying the bills.

i heard a comedian this weekend say the funniest thing to a heckler this weekend...

"sir, your dick is so small, your sperm comes out in single file." -jamie martling

everytime micropphone broneck said something, i just played a note or two really loud over him. so i didnt hear what he was saying.
i am not saying i wish it would happen, but maybe there was a car wreck. maybe he was there. dont know if he was in it... i am merely suggesting maybe there was. maybe he was hurt, maybe not. hope he's ok.

yeah.

(sidebar)
i hope you (whoever you are) are not looking for any philosophy or direction in this blog. that could be presumptious of me to assume,considering i hope NO ONE looks for that sort of thing in a blog.
i might feel like peppering in something that may seem like something valuable every now and then, but its just going to be filled with ridiculous antics, dick jokes, drunken escapades, completley terrible form, poor puncuation.... and of course gay jokes. haha. have fun then...

good day.

skin

2008-12-09T07:09:00.000-08:00

judging by the distance between this blog and the last, i would say my chances are slim of getting a blog in every day of the work week.
oh well, i dont owe it to myself to do this anyways. i should just have fun.
and i did. this weekend has been a blast. i discovered that i am at the highest point in my life that i have ever seen. my trademark negative attitude slowly melting away with age. its not a bad thing getting older. i am closer to the people i love, including my family, whom i was never close to.
i respect the simpler things. the things i need. i ignore the things i want more often than i used to (except food). i care less about things in life that i know can be replaced with a little hard work. i make things happen. i am building my life one brick at a time, and i think i finally stopped to look at all the shit ive done. i have done pretty fucking well for my self.
about some of the dates we did this weekend- i have seen people drunk. but this weekend, i saw some of the drunkest people i have ever seen. that is no exaggeration.
i have to fly now, but i think i will make the next blog about some stories from theses places. god bless the southern us states.

numero uno

2008-12-02T12:21:00.000-08:00

i am going to make an effort to do this every day of the week in the last 10-15 minutes of my job. i think it would be interesting to see what kind of shit i can spit out when i get done getting raped for 8 hours in a row (excluding my 30 minutes of lunch) for an unfair wage.
going to lexington tommorow- i guess i will write about that when i am at work. i will certainly still be hungover by the time the clock says about 3:10. so much to do in my short time on earth.
no time to smell the roses. no time to plant any either. well, it depends on how you look at that one.
goodbye.